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About Varied / Professional grace diamond foxFemale/United States Group :iconmlp-oc-paradise: mlp-oc-paradise
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Deviant for 1 Year
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Statistics 78 Deviations 863 Comments 2,011 Pageviews

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22 deviations
Hey guys, it me and my words again, I hope I'm not bugging anyone with this.
Lately I've been feeling down, as if no one cared about me. I know that's not true, but the thought just keeps coming back. Like, why am I even here? I know there's always some one better who could replace me in a heartbeat. My heart tells me that everyday. Sometimes I wish someone would just sit there with me, we wouldn't even have to talk, their presence and warmth would be enough. Heck, I can't even do it anymore. I know my friends have bigger problems to handle than my loneliness, so I don't want to talk to anyone. To me it seems selfish.
I've started to take things into my own hands too, I'm a smart cookie, and I know to stay away from drugs and alcohol, so I do. 
But when no ones around, I get the biggest urge to scar myself, hit, bite, and scratch. 
I know my friends do it, and I tried to be that,'innocent friend to confide in', but I'm too afraid to sound like a whiney brat, so I've sewn my mouth shut. No one can know my true feelings. I've even come to find my mom suffers from depression too, so talking to any parental figure is out of the question. Just like my dad. My dad, now here's something I think is a big contribution to some of my problems. He is in jail now, but when I was a little one, he did some awful things to my older sisters. For some reason, they apaulled me. They treated me so meanly, but I still love them.I thought it was normal to grow up in an environment where everyone disliked you. Being bullied as a grade schooler didn't help either. Even my ' best friend' liked my sister more than me. It kinda made me a little sad. I'm as nice as could be, yet I'm still hated by some of my friend's parents.
We almost got in a car wreck today, and half of me was hoping I wouldn't make it. That was scarier than the thought of crashing itself. Sorry for such a long rant, I'm kinda surprised if you even made it thus far. I have a lot more I want to say, but I don't want to waste your time. 😐 until next time I guess


kitsune-cross's Profile Picture
grace diamond fox
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States


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MarinKoi Featured By Owner Edited Jan 3, 2017
are you okay friend
last-sunset9 Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favs
MarinKoi Featured By Owner May 1, 2016
I want you to know that I miss youuu
and wow more people should be commenting here-
kitsune-cross Featured By Owner May 11, 2016  Professional General Artist
Sorry, I kind of left for a while. I'm back to Devi now!
So much to upload!
About 5 journals full.
What do you mean more people should comment here? Where?
MarinKoi Featured By Owner May 13, 2016
Oh okay ^^ I left for a while too
on your page, I think more people should notice your account...
kitsune-cross Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2016  Professional General Artist
Hey there old friend!
Sorry I haven't been active, I got a tumblr and Facebook finally
So much stuff to upload
Anyway, how is everything?
As, and thank you ^U^
It really means a lot to hear that!
(1 Reply)
MarinKoi Featured By Owner Edited Mar 6, 2016
Guess what, I started playing Homestuck!
oh but still I'm at the very beginning yet
kitsune-cross Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2016  Professional General Artist
Oh cool! It gets good after act one, not that it's not funny too though.
(I'm wearing my HOMESTUCK shirt! :3)
MarinKoi Featured By Owner Edited Mar 8, 2016
Yeah I found funny at some parts already xD
Hussie has a interesting humor..
I stopped right before the "press enter" because I'm waiting to see it with my sister ^^
kitsune-cross Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2016  Professional General Artist
:3i know right!?
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